Being An Only Child Wasn't So Bad
October 5, 2023
By: Emily Hricak
Photograph: Emily and her parents, Michael and Alice
An ongoing insecurity of mine is something outside of my control. It has nothing to do with my appearance, intelligence, or ability. It is merely due to the fact that I am an only child.
The stereotype of people like me is that we are spoiled, entitled, and have never been told “no.” For me, this was far from the truth. I was raised like a little adult. I respected my parents, of course, but I also saw them as my equals. I was encouraged to communicate my feelings and frustrations from a very young age. We’ve always been open with one another, and I never felt the need to rebel. I knew that throwing tantrums, storming off, or raising my voice would not be productive or result in what I wanted. Perhaps the absence of a sibling or another child with bad behavior to be a poor influence on me was why. If there was tension in the house, it would be addressed right away, and I think this came more naturally with there being only three people in the family.
I was never lonely. I had a handful of friends who also happened to be only children that I spent my days with. I loved crafts, playing with dolls, drawing… I kept myself busy. It wasn’t until I came to college that I realized how rare only children actually are.
Whenever someone would ask, “how many siblings do you have?,” I would surprise them with my response, “I am actually an only child.” People say that I don’t strike them as an only child because I am (not to toot my own horn) not entitled or anti-social. It’s as if you can’t be an only child if you aren’t one of these horrible qualities. This stereotype haunts me because I have nothing negative to say about being an only child. I have amazing parents and fantastic friends, and my life feels full. This stink eye that I get when I utter the words “only child” has got to stop. Sure, there are some obnoxious ones who need a reality check, but as an only child, please give us a chance. We’re better than you think.
As someone who grew up with a sister 10 years older than her, I kind of relate to be an only child. She graduated by the time I was 8, so I never had anyone around at home as my parents were also pretty absent. Reeally interesting to see how you feel that being an only child made you feel more full in life in a way, I wonder how you would have ended up differently if you were to have more siblings.